1. Birth in a location that allows doulas or an additional support person.
If you really want a doula at your birth, and the hospital you are planning to use does not allow more than one support person, see if you can switch to another location for your birth. If you decide to have a homebirth, you are in charge of your space and can usually choose to have anyone there that you want, including your doula! Birth centers also tend to be more flexible when it comes to visitor restrictions and will usually accommodate a doula or labor coach. Some hospitals are also allowing up to two support people or one visitor and a doula. Make sure you ask about your chosen birth location’s visitor policies during Covid-19. If the policy at your current hospital doesn’t work for you, then see if you can find somewhere that is a better fit!​

2. Advocate for doulas to be welcomed back into hospitals.
As a consumer, you can always complain or speak up about a policy that you don’t agree with. Call your hospital and tell them that you think doulas are valuable and an essential part of your birth team. Doula support has many proven benefits for both mothers and babies and should not be excluded from hospital birth even in a time of pandemic. Here is a great article that discusses the evidence for doulas: evidencebasedbirth.com/the-evidence-for-doulas/. If you know of other expecting families that are also wanting to have a doula for their birth, encourage them to speak out too! The more that families voice their concerns about restrictive visitor policies, the more likely it is that hospitals will listen and consider changing these policies.

​While the world around us is changing rapidly and nothing seems certain anymore, some things haven’t changed. Babies are still being born. Parents are adjusting their expectations and finding ways to welcome their new babies with joy. And doulas have adapted as well, so that no matter what happens, families will know they have a trusted companion to walk them every step of the way.

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Now that you know a few of the common misconceptions about doulas and the truth about how we serve our clients, I hope you will consider hiring one for your birth. Who can’t use a trained, knowledgeable, professional support person at your side on one of the most important days of your life? And I didn’t even delve into all of the studies that show doulas can make a real difference in birth outcomes. (you can see them here: www.evidencebasedbirth.com/the-evidence-for-doulas/) If you are in the Charlotte area and want to meet up to learn more, contact me at [email protected]. You can also see a bunch of other wonderful doulas on this site: www.yourcharlottedoulas.com.
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​Dr. Sara Butkovich grew up in a town in southeast Michigan, where she always had a passion for helping others. As a teenager, she struggled with her own health issues which motivated her to enroll in the nursing program in college. During that time, Dr. Sara started working as a chiropractic assistant in a very busy office, where she received her first chiropractic adjustment at the age of 17. After personally experiencing the healing power of the human body, she was able to live a vitalistic lifestyle and overcome her health issues.
 
In 2011, she changed her career path and continued her education at Life University. A chiropractic mission trip to Haiti and the Dominican Republic motivated her more than ever to empower others to take total control of their health. Dr. Sara graduated with her Doctor of Chiropractic degree from Life University in December 2015.
 
Dr. Butkovich, “Dr. Sara”, is currently a member of the International Chiropractic Pediatric Association (ICPA), is certified in the Webster technique, and loves caring for the newborns, the aged, and those in need of care. She is also working at becoming a Certified Functional Medicine Practitioner, as it is her passion to educate individuals about healthy diet and life style. She enjoys cooking and baking, being outdoors, running, practicing yoga, and hiking with her two dogs. Dr. Sara is excited to serve the community and be a part of the family at Weddington Chiropractic Wellness Center and help you reach your health goals so you can enjoy the life that you were created to live!”

Above images copyright Amanda Allender Photography 2016.

All images copyright Alissa Bray Photography 2016. Visit her website or Facebook page for more amazing images.

Taking care of a baby is hard work, but you must take care of yourself as well. These tips will help ensure that you and your family eat well during the postpartum period. In addition, for a limited time, I am offering the excellent planning guide, "Your Postpartum Plan: Going Beyond the Birth" to everyone who schedules a free consultation with me. For more information, click here.

Two weeks ago my baby, my youngest child, turned five. FIVE. It is such a bittersweet thing to watch your youngest grow up. I love the girl she is turning into, but a part of me will always mourn the baby she no longer is, even more so than with my other two children. But as I was reminiscing about her baby days, I thought of her birth, which was amazing in so many ways, but also so different than I expected it to be. This led me to thinking about birth and expectations.

I think most of us, whether it is our first birth or out fifteenth, go into our births with some kind of expectation of what it will be like. If you have had children before, you might expect this one to be somewhat similar to the last one. If it is your first birth, your expectations may be shaped by the media, or the stories of your family and friends. You might expect it to be awful, great, or somewhere in between, but you likely have some expectations about it.

My expectations for my third birth is that it would be amazing. To give some background, my first two children were born in hospitals. My second did not go at all as I had wanted it to, so I decided to give homebirth a try. I knew this would likely be my last child so I threw myself into making sure it was everything I hoped it would be. I listened to hypnobabies CDs and visualized myself having a fast and easy birth. I hired a wonderful midwife team. I ate as well as I could, and watched youtube videos of homebirths.  These laboring women were so calm as they quietly pushed their babies out into their birth pools. I had actually been pretty calm during my first birth, which was unmedicated. I felt very confident that I was going get exactly the birth I was planning for, the birth I expected.

But birth rarely goes the way that we plan, or the way we expect. I see it over an over again as a doula. A woman goes into her labor expecting one thing and getting something very different. I know that is how it was for me. I was 41 weeks and 6 days pregnant. My fluid was low, I was grumpy, and I felt very strongly that it was time my little one vacated her comfy home of 9+ months. So after avoiding even thinking about taking such a step for weeks, I downed a dose of castor oil, thankfully disguised in an ice cream milkshake.

When contractions began, they surprised me. I was expecting labor to begin slowly, as my other two had, with mild contractions spaced apart pretty widely. Instead, these hit hard and fast, and despite my weeks of hypnobabies telling me that I could have a painless childbirth, they HURT. My husband set about filling the birth pool, we let the midwives know what was going on, and I descended into Laborland. (Note that here is where I could have really used a doula because my husband spent pretty much all of my labor filing the birth pool, which as you will see turned out to be a wasted effort.)

A few hours later my midwives arrived, checked baby's heartbeat, and found all was well so they settled into their watchful waiting. I, on the other hand, was crawling around on the floor with my birth ball and I was being LOUD. This was not the quiet peaceful homebirth I had envisioned. Finally, FINALLY, about an hour after the midwives got there, the birth pool was filled and it was the right temperature. My midwife asked if I would like to have my cervix checked before getting in and I agreed so I climbed on the bed. She told me I was complete (10cm) which was great news because it meant I was almost done. But the truth was I was a lot closer to done than I thought! Six minutes later, my eight and a half pound daughter came barreling out of me while I screamed at the top of my lungs the whole time. Yep, my expected calm, quiet, beautiful waterbirth, ended up with me screaming on my bed. And the first thing I said when she was out was, "I am so glad that is over!"

Everything that happened after that was great. I was allowed to deliver the placenta on my own and in my own time. I only had a tiny tear and I felt like I had conquered Everest! My older two kids were able to come and meet their baby sister only an hour or so after she was born. I was able to rest and recuperate in my own bed. It was wonderful.

But for months after her birth, I was left feeling unsettled about it all, as if somehow, by not getting what I had expected, I had failed. Maybe if I had waited another day and not taken the castor oil, things would have been easier. Maybe I should have listened to the hypnobabies more often; then it might have worked better for me. We should have planned better for how long the birth tub would take to fill up. And on and on.

It took becoming a doula for me to come to terms with my unrealized expectations for this birth. I learned over and over that the only thing predictable about birth is that it is unpredictable. I didn't fail at birth. In fact, it is impossible to fail at birth. Did it go the way I had expected? Nope. Instead, it was raw and real, and I was strong. I am now able to look back and be proud of myself and not the least bit ashamed that my favorite part was when it was over.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is, plan and dream a little bit when preparing for your birth. But remember that when it comes down to it, there is no way to know what it will be like for you or how it will go. That is part of the miracle. Release your expectations and trust that you will be able to do it, that you will birth your baby in the way he or she needs to be birthed. And it will be amazing.

Back in early December, I had the opportunity to be a vendor at the Winter Wonderland event at Wise Acres Organic Farm in Indian Trail, NC. (Side Note: I love Wise Acres. Can't wait until strawberry season!) It was so much fun to dialogue with different people about my work. Here is how those conversations usually went:

Me: I'm a doula!
Person: Oh, so like a midwife?
Me: Not exactly. Birth doulas provide support to the laboring mother and partner during birth, and postpartum doulas help during the postpartum period. I do both!
Person: So, you only go to homebirths then?
Me: No, actually most of my clients birth in the hospital.
Person: Blank look.

I think this graphic is really helpful for understanding the different roles that doulas and midwives play during a birth:

What many do not know about me is that for a while after I started my journey to become a doula, I thought that I might use it as a stepping stone to someday becoming a midwife. I looked around the internet at midwifery schools, debated the pros and cons of CNM (certified nurse midwife) versus CPM (certified professional midwife), and dreamed about how someday I would change future of birth with my radical midwife ways.

But then I actually started attending births as a doula. I realized how much I really enjoyed my role as encourager, supporter, and cheerleader. I also got to see midwives in action and I found I did not have a desire to do the things they did. Midwives monitored progress, talked over birth choices, did cervical checks. I rubbed backs, suggested different positions, talked my clients through contractions. I began to have less and less desire to pursue midwifery and instead set out to become the best doula I could be. I finally decided that my passion was truly ignited in my work as a doula. Here are the three main reasons that I will NOT be pursuing midwifery:

1. Time + Money. It takes a lot of both to become a midwife. Though my training as a doula was extensive and took me a long time to complete, it was nothing compared to the time I would need to invest in midwifery schooling and practice. In addition, my fees for doula training have been modest compared to what midwifery school would cost. Of course, if midwifery were truly my calling, I no amount of time or financial commitment could stop me from meeting my goal. But that leads  me into reason number two . . .
2. My heart and my calling lie with the emotional and spiritual aspects of birth, not the clinical ones. To me, birth is so much more than the path by which a baby is born, it is also the birth of a mother and a family. In my work as a doula, I am able through my presence to help the laboring mother and her partner through this transition.  I consider it such an honor and a joy to encourage and support my clients in the ways they need it most. The clinical tasks of the midwife hold much less personal appeal to me.
3. I fell in love with supporting families during the postpartum period. Now, don't get me wrong here. I am still attending births as a birth doula and loving it! But as I have had a chance to support several families as a postpartum doula, I realized the huge need we have for this type of support in our society. As a postpartum doula, I am able to help families in this pivotal time in their lives, enabling them and their babies to thrive! Midwives may see mothers and babies several times during the postpartum time, but are not able to give the daily support of the postpartum doula.

I am so thankful for the midwives that have chosen their path to supporting women during childbirth. I am proud to work alongside them in our complementary roles, but I no longer have the desire to become one. For me, the work of the birth and postpartum doula is the perfect fit! I love serving families in Charlotte and the surrounding areas as a doula and I hope to continue to do this work for as long as I am able. If you are interested in having a free consultation with me to find out if my services would be a good fit for you, contact me here.